As a sleep researcher who studies couples and their nighttime habits, I've seen just about every sleep arrangement imaginable. Separate bedrooms, snoring solutions, blanket wars—you name it. However, nothing gets people more defensive than when I suggest their beloved pet might be the reason they're not sleeping well.
Suggesting a “sleep divorce” from a human partner? Many people are open to it, especially if their spouses snore like freight trains or insist on stealing all the covers. But from the family dog or cat? That's where many people draw the line.
I might as well propose they give up their phones, coffee, chocolate, and Netflix, combined.
The truth is, sharing your bed with a pet is a recipe for disrupted sleep. Science backs this up. According to a survey by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, nearly 50 percent of pet owners share beds with their furry friends.
Let's Be Honest, Pets Make Lousy Bedmates
Pets shed dander and bring in allergens, even if you're not allergic.
Dogs have shorter sleep cycles than humans and often experience active rapid eye movement sleep, which can include twitching, running or even barking as they chase dream rabbits. (Long-lasting barking or howling can be a sign of a sleep disorder in dogs.)
Even when pets are not actively moving, just having more bodies in the room can increase carbon dioxide levels, which can affect air quality and, yes, the quality of your sleep.
Despite all this, people are often far more willing to sleep apart from their spouses than from their furry friends.
People are often far more willing to sleep apart from their spouses than from their furry friends.
In my clinical practice, I approach the subject of pet-free sleep with extreme caution. I'll recommend it, because it's my job, but I know most people will ignore me.
Why? Because the bond people share with their pets is powerful, especially at night. As historian A. Roger Ekirch has observed, nighttime has always been humanity's most vulnerable time.
We evolved to seek safety in numbers, and today, that sense of security often comes from a warm, snuggly animal at our side. Our pets aren't just pets; they're family, protectors, and living teddy bears, rolled into one.
If 'Sleep Divorce' from Pets Isn't an Option, Here's What to Do
So, what's a sleep scientist to do? If you're unwilling to banish your pet from the bedroom, there are ways to minimize the impact on your sleep.
First, consider upsizing to a larger bed. More space means fewer midnight wake-ups from a dog doing somersaults or a cat kneading your stomach.
Invest in a good air purifier with a high efficiency particulate arresting filter to reduce dander and allergens.
Wash your bedding frequently—twice a week is ideal—to keep things fresh.
If possible, create a cozy pet bed on the floor next to yours. Make it so inviting that even you'd want to curl up there (heated pet beds can be a game-changer).
Some people find success with a halfway compromise: The pet starts the night in its own bed, but is invited up for morning cuddles.
Here's the thing: Sleep is about trade-offs. Sure, your sleep might be objectively better without a pet in the bed, but for many, the emotional comfort outweighs the disruption.
Sleep is about trade-offs. Sure, your sleep might be objectively better without a pet in the bed, but for many, the emotional comfort outweighs the disruption.
That mirrors what we know about human couples. Research shows that even when sharing a bed with a partner comes with objective costs, like disrupted sleep, we overwhelmingly prefer it.
Why? Because the emotional benefits of sharing a bed, whether with a partner or a pet, often outweigh the downsides.
So, if you find yourself clinging to the edge of the mattress while your dog dreams of chasing squirrels or your cat practices its Olympic gymnastics routine, just remember: You're not alone, and you're in good (if slightly disruptive) company.
